Joy, Connection, Power: Impressions as a Birankai Summer Camp First-timer

By Leslie Blackburn, Huron Valley Aikikai

Three years ago, after over five decades of life experience, I was called to Aikido as the next piece of my body journey: to expand presence and awareness of my physical and energetic bodies. I'm finding it helps me stay centered, grounded, present and able to use my voice and take action in dynamically challenging situations with other people. Which happens a LOT in what I do in the world with public service and collective liberation work.

Camp helped me level up in capacity and resilience for that work.

I'm finding there's this way that Aikido helps me access vitality, life force, and therefore joy. Joy of getting to be here in this body relating with other bodies.

That joy was even stronger at Camp. Being in the field of nearly 150 other aikido practitioners opens something up. Teachings are received not only by looking and listening, not only through the sensei offering the class, but through transmission and relating with other bodies.  

I felt well prepared heading into Camp by the classes at our dojo with Rodger Sensei and Terri Sensei. We are so lucky to be here in an area with such skilled teachers who also offer a lot of space for exploration and encourage connecting with other dojo communities and teachers. I'm so grateful for the support I feel both here locally in our dojo, and when I go to seminars. 

I'm more able to notice when there are sensations arising in my body that used to cause me to dissociate or check-out, and instead stay present and go underneath the old meaning I had assigned to them. By staying present I can get curious about what is really arising. Sometimes I need to ask for something to be different or hold space for myself. And sometimes I can surrender more fully into the experience. As I build trust that I can advocate for myself, it helps me also to be vulnerable and trust my partner more. There’s magic in that relational space with another body. So much happens there.

While taking ukemi helps me learn and brings up a lot, actually I find that one of my growth edges is trusting my power to attack. For example, techniques that encourage atemi -- for example striking your hand towards someone's face to take their balance -- are really hard for me. I fear I will hurt someone by actually striking their face if, for example, they don’t move in time.

At Camp, I was met by other Aikidoists my height or taller, who were much more advanced than me, and I could trust that they were taking care of themselves as I fumbled around and practiced these more intense maneuvers. This helped me build confidence to be in my power. 

Practice partners noticed changes in my body when I came back: I felt different to them. And I feel different to me also. I moved through some initiations: to soften while still being connected and collected at my center (tanden) while allowing connection with my partner. I feel more fluid and receptive in my shoulders and back -- from a rooted, grounded place. 

I felt well cared for, supported by myself and supported by the other people there. And less prone to injury with that sense of support. While also meeting the challenging experience -- not collapsing from it, not running away from it. Yet also not defending from it.  

Connecting, softening, and building resilience to be with the power of big energy moving through my body in relationship with other bodies: the joy is so good. I am grateful to be in the exploration.